The Base of a Hill

The Base of a Hill

March 30, 2021 Off By justin

When the initial realization hits that you’re not quite who you thought you were when you should have been who you wanted to be. Those times you look back on with a knot in your chest, shaking your head at how you behaved, and the people you left wondering, hurting, and regretting their time with you. People that were giving their full while you were coasting along, taking for granted what you had. For some, recovery happens over a couple months, others, it can take a year or more before the realization hits them at how awful they had behaved. The pain intensifies when you realize you’ve been behind the curve the entire time, and life feels hopeless, hollow, and too difficult now.

After the last words are said, one of you begin the process of healing while the other one dodges the emotions, ache, and loneliness with busy work, and ego feeding adventures. One works on themselves, tests the waters, and grows stronger with all they have learned in each experience. The other bounces along dodging anything that might hurt if it catches them. Eventually, that alley way of escape comes to an end and they’ve got to face their failing escape.

Feeling like a hill of pain, regret, despair, and disappointment, the climb is truly difficult, and the peak is no place to relax. If complacency is allowed, there’s a good chance the painful side just climbed will tug gently until the fall back down begins. When the peak is reached, focus on hippieness, the side with a future, covered in bumps to remind them of what they are working to avoid. Working diligently down the happy side will help ease the memories of climbing the painful side of the mountain and why it had to be done. Keep working, keep the hippieness in sight if there is no hippieness at the moment, and although the base of the hill feels endless, there is a peak, there is hippieness, there is life after pain. Life after regret, and if growth happens, the future will be better than the present.